The  Minor  Drama 
No!! 


w, 

50.6 
N61 


UCS3  LIDRARY 

THE     MINOR    DRAMA 


THE    ACTING   EDITION. 

No.  CXVL 


N  0!! 


AN     OPERETTA,     IN    ONE     ACT, 


TO  WHICH  ARE  ADDED 


A  Description  of  the  Costume — Cast  of  the  Characters — Entrances  and  Exits— 

Kelative  Positions  of  the  Performers  on  the  Stage,  and 

the  whole  of  the  Stage  Business. 


AS    PERFORMED    AT    THB 


PRINCIPAL  THEATRES  IN  THE  UNITED  STATES. 


NEW    YORK: 

SAMUEL     FRENCH, 

122  NASSAU  STREET,  (Up  SrAiBg.) 


8 


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& 


LIBRARY 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA 
SANTA  KARliARA 


NO!! 


SCENE  I. — A  Garden  with  railing  and  gate  across,  lacked  by  distant 
country. — Three  pedestals,  with  vases — 2  L.  H.,  1  B.  H.,  the  vase  of 
which  is  to  take  up. — Table  and  three  chairs,  K.  u. 

Enter  MARIA,  L.  H.,  from  house. 

Mar.  Seven  o'clock,  and  Frederick  not  here ;  [raises  the  vase,  R.  H.] 
can  he  for  the  first  time  have  forgotten  his  Maria  1  No !  I  will  not,  can- 
not, do  not,  doubt  him.  [Turns,  and  sees  DEBORAH,  who  has  also 
entered  from  L.  H.,  watching  her.]  Ah  ! 

Deb.  Bless  ray  heart,  Miss,  do  I  frighten  you! 

Mar.  Frighten.  Oh,  no,  dear  nurse,  you  can  never  frighten  me. — 
[Aside.] — Alas  !  should  Frederick  come  now,  all  will  be  discovered. 
Had  we  not  better  return  to  the  house  1 — breakfast  will  be  ready, 
and 

Deb.  What !  at  seven  o'clock  7 — Oh,  no — you  are  somewhat  a  little 
too  early  for  breakfast,  this  morning. 

Mar.  Yes,  I  believe  I  am  rather  early,  Deborah,  but  the  air  was  so 
fresh,  the  sun  so  brilliant,  that  I  could  not  resist  a  walk 

Dei.  Ay,  but  the  air  was  not  so  fresh,  nor  the  sun  so  brilliant,  yester- 
day morning,  nor  the  morning  before  that,  or  the  morning  before  that. 

Mar.  What  mean  you,  nurse  1 

Deb.  Is  it  only  to  enjoy  the  fresh  air,  that  a  certain  young  lady  has 
risen  for  fifteen  days,  before  sunrise — that  she  has  gone  secretly  into 
the,  park 

Mar.  G  ><><1  Heavens  ! 

Deb.  That  she  lias  there  joined  a  certain  young  man — that  they 
converse  some  minutes,  and  when  she  arrives  first,  she  runs  to  a  cer- 
tain vase,  arid 

Mar.  Silence,  dear  nurse,  for  mercy's  sake. 

Deb.  Fresh  air:  fresh  fiddlesticks  !  Come,  come,  you  see  I  know 
all  about  it :  and  so  he  hasn't  been  here,  this  morning. 

Mar.  Disguise  with  you  is  fruitless;  yet,  as  I  wish  to  be  guided  in 
all  ailairs.  by  t'ne  superior  discernment  and  good  sense  of  my  dear 
nurse. — \c  sisinr/.] — tell  me  what  you  really  think  of  Mr.  Frederick. 

Deb.  Mr.  Frederick,  forsooth  ;  well,  then,  I  think  Mr.  Frederick  is 
full  of  grace,  spirit,  and  politeness. 

Mm-.  [Warmly.]  And  his  heart,  nurse,  his  heart  ? 

Deb,  Oh,  that's  your  affair — but  this  I  know,  that  his  uncle,  Com- 


4  no! 

modore  Hurricane,  lias  done  all  the  ladies  cf  the  family  a  great  favor, 
in  sending  so  sweet  a  young  man  to  enter  the  world,  under  the  care 
of  my  master,  Sir  George  Doubtful. 

Mar.  Yes,  five  months  under  the  same  roof — the  habits  of  seeing 
him  daily — his  attentions 1  mean  his  merit that  is 

Deb.  Aye,  aye,  I  know  what  you  mean  ;  I  have  traveled  the  same 
road  before  you — but  why  has  he  not  declared  himself  to  Sir  George, 
or  to  ray  lady,  your  sister  1 

M.ir.  Dependant  upon  his  uncle,  he  dared  not,  until  assured  of  his 
consent,  and  till  certain  of  that,  to  render  iny  sister  favorable  to  our 
union,  Frederick  pays  her  the  most  assiduous  attention. 

Deb.  Yes,  indeed,  till  Sir  George,  who  is  as  jealous  as  a  tiger,  with- 
out wishing  to  appear  so,  is  ready  to  cut  his  own  throat,  and  Mr. 
ink's  into  the  bargain. 

.!/,*/-.  We  have  settled,  moreover,  that  in  public,  we  should  appear 
i  i  liiL'reut  to  each  other;  nay,  almost  dislike  one  another,  a  little  bit. 

Deb.  But  in  private — 

Mir.  Why,  nurse,  as  you  said  just  now — 

Dsb.  Well!     Eh!  what! 

Mil'.  That's  my  affair. 

Deb.  Ah,  you  little  rogue !  Well,  fear  not  old  Deborah — your  se- 
cret is  safe  with  me,  but  should  you  meet  Mr.  Frederick,  tell  him  not 
to  bo  too  attentive  to  my  lady,  or  whilst  he  gains  the  interest  of  the 
wife,  he  may  Jose  that  of  the  husband.  [Exit,  i*.  H.,  MARIA,  R.  H. 

SONG.— MARIA.— [Introduced.] 
Enter  SIR  GEOBGE,  followed  by  ANDUBW,  2  E.  L.  u. 

Sir  G.  Cease  your  questions,  and  obey  me.  Order  my  horses,  as  I 
have  business  which  calls  me  hence. 

And.  But,  dear  Sir,  at  this  early  hour — 
Sir  G.  S'death !  will  you  obey  my  orders  or  not  1 
And.  Oh,  certainly,  Sir  George. — [Crosses,  R.  n.J — The  very  devil's 
i:i  him  this  morning.  [Exit,  L.  H. 

Sir  G.  Would  to  heaven  I  had  never  taken  charge  of  this  boy,  this 
Frederick— and  how  to  refuse  so  old  a  friend  as  his  uncle,  I  knew  not; 
I  have  every  confidence  in  my  wife's  principles  ;  yes — yes,  every  con- 
fidence ;  but  she  is  young — not  to  say  that  I  am  old  :  no — no,  by  no 
means.  I  am  rather  at  that  j>eriod  which  every  woman  of  sense  would 
prefer  ;  but  then  she  is  certainly  young,  and  the  mark'd  attentions  of 
this  boy 

Enter  FREDERICK,  hastily,  L.  H.,  with  a  letter,  which  he  conceals  on 
seeing  SIR  GEORGE. 

Who's  there ! 

Fred.  Sir  George,  the  devil ! 

Sir  G.  A  letter  !  by  heavens  he  conceals  it !  Why  so  early  prepared 
for  riding,  Frederick  1 

Fred.  A  letter  from  my  uncle,  sir,  which,  when  you  have  read,  yor 
will  perceive — stop,  I  have  so  many  letters •  [Searching  for  it. 

Sir  G.  Is  not  that  it  1  [Pointing  to  the  one  in  his 


NO!  5 

Fred.  No — no,  that  s  not  it ;  here  it  is.  [Gives  him  another — SIR  Q. 
reads  it.]  Should  I  not  be  able  to  get  lid  of  Sir  George,  what  will  be- 
iMinrt  <>!'  my  letter  ? 

>'//•  G.  The  letter  is  like  my  friend,  brief  and  impetuous:  but  why 
•  U'  in  such  a  passion  about  telling  you  to  marry1? 

Fred.   I'erhaps  he  foresees  I  shall  oppose  his  wishes. 

G.  Oppose  his  wishes  ;  what,  when  the  heart  is  free  1 

F !•'•.!..  Yes,  sir ;  but  suppose  the  heart  should  not  be  free  1 

Kir  G.  Indeed!  should  that  be  the  case,  young  gentleman,  con- 
si'li'!-i:iLj  you  are  under  my  charge,  I  should  be  aware  of  the  object  of 
your  love. 

Fred.  Why  to  speak  sincerely  you  are  the  last  person  to  whom  I 
should  wish  to  disclose  it. 

Sir  G.  I  believe  you,  upon  my  soul :  but  if  you  are  resolved  upon 
disobedience  to  vour  uncle,  why  not  avoid  ruin  by  remaining  at  the 
Hall  '< 

Fred.  My  dear  sir,  you  are  yet  to  know  the  Commodore  :  did  I  not 
s-A!  .  him.  he'd  quickly  discover  me  :  and  besides  I  owe  him  some  re- 
-L  am  his  heir.  [Crosses  to  R.  u. 

>'/;•  <}.  But  you  will  not  quit  the  Hall  without  taking  leave  of  her 
ladyship,  and 

Fred.  Do  you  think  her  ladyship  likes  me1! 

>'(/•  G.  Upon  my  soul,  sir,  I 

Fred.  Do  you  know,  I  have  the  greatest  desire  to  make  myself 
ag'Ciuble  to  her. 

Fir  G.  Pleasant  intelligence. 

Fre/l.  I  must  delay  no  longer,  but  do  not  be  uneasy  at  my  absence, 
I  sli  ill  settle  my  uncle,  and  this  hateful  marriage  once  put  off,  I  return 
to  quit  you  no  more. 

Sir  (}.  How  sir,  quit  us  no  more  ? 

Fred.  Quit  a  spot,  where  I  have  pass'd  such  blissful  hours  with  you, 

with  l;er  ladyship,  with but  I  shall  betray  myself:  farewell,  dear 

Sir  George,  and  keep  my  secret. 

Sir  G.  Why,  sir,  you  have'nt  told  me  yet. 

Fred.  Indeed,  so  much  the  better  ;  perhaps  it  would  not  meet  your 
approbation,  so  once  more  farewell.  [Exit,  R.  H. 

>'//•  G.  Yes,  my  gay  spark,  farewell  and  for  some  time,  too,  if  my 
letter  to  your  uncle  takes  effect.  It  must  be  my  lady  he  alludes  to; 
le  has  seen  no  other  female  here,  but  Maria,  and  she,  with  that  dis- 
•rimination  which  marks  her  character,  detests  him — will  scarcely 
weak  to  him  ;  yes — yes,  'tis  my  lady.  [Looks  off  R.  u.]  But,  who  comes 
•ere  so  cautiously  thro'  the  shrubbery  1  As  1  live.  Frederick's  valet, 
>ud  bearing  a  letter,  too;  he  seems  fearful  of  observation;  'tis  resol- 
*fl— should  it  make  me  unhappy  for  life,  I  must,  I  will  penetrate  this 
tu/s.',?ry.  [Conceals  himself  behind  first  w.  L.  u. 

Yi'.'.t-r  ^MART,  cautiously,  with  a  letter  ;  crosses  to  L.  H. — looks  out. 

R,•^^.-t.  No  one  observes  me  ! 
Sir.  v    What  is  he  about  1 

\.  that's  that  7  Oh,  its  on'y  a  bird  in   the  bush  I   suppose. 


6  >  <   ! 

My  master  must  have  been  an  awk\\ LI d  fellow,  not  to  be  able  to  (It, 
ct'ivf  the  observation  of  Sir  George. 

»s'jV  (/'.   Jtcroive  me  ! 

Smart.  And  force  me  to  retrace  my  steps,  and  all  for  a  stupid  love 
letter. 

Sir  G.  Love  letter,  so,  so. 

Smart.  Let  me  see — vase  1,  2,  3,  [crossesto  n.  n.,fuUcwed  In/  K:u 
G.,  who  hides  behind  R.  H.  wing,}  or  near  it,  is  a  whimsical  po-t 
ti-uely,  to  be  left  until  called  for,  I  suppose. — [Sm  G.mak' 
Eh!  what's  that?     Oh,  another  bird,  I  suppose:  aye,  all's  ri»L 
now  having  Uvken  care  of  No.  3,  I  think  I  had  better  take  e;u •<•  of  No.  1 . 

[fait,  K.  n. 

Sir  G.  [Advances  cautiously,  and  takes  the  letter.  ]  Now  then,  to 
know  my  fate — no  address — cautious — "My  dear  love!' — his  dear  love  ; 
I  depart  without  being  able  to  tell  you,  that  my  uncle  wishes  to  marry 
me,  and  has  commanded  me  to  go  to  him;  but  be  comforted,  dcpei.d 
upon  my  eternal  constancy,  on  our  mutual  vows."  Mutual  vows! 
Traitors ! — "  I  would  join  you  at  our  customary  morning  meeting.  Inn 
this  note,  which  informs  you  of  the  reasons  of  my  failure,  also  as-  mvs 
you  I  shall  return  this  evening. 

"  More  than  ever  your  devoted  and  passionately  attached 

"  FREDERICK." 

"  Postscript. — Take  care  of  Sir  George ;  notwithstanding  all  our 
caution,  I  have  every  reason  to  believe  he  has  other  views  concerning 
you." 

Quite  correct ;  I  have  other  views  for  her ;  this  evening  shall  com- 
plete them.  I  will  pretend  business  of  moment  calls  me  hence,  and 
suddenly  returning,  satisfy  all  my  doubts  forever:  but  in  the  interim, 
should  my  gay  spark  return,  in  hopes  to  profit  by  my  absence.  1  will 
bind  my  family  by  a  promise  that  shall  frustrate  his  most  ardent  so- 
licitations. But  see,  my  lady  comes — let  me  be  cautious. 

Enter  LADY  DOUBTFUL,  MARIA  and  ANDREW  L.  H.  2  E. 

Lady  D.  Good  morning,  dear  Sir  George,  you  see  I  participate  in 
your  rural  tastes,  for  hearing  you  have  been  enjoying  this  beautiful 
morning  since  sunrise,  I  have  ordered  breakfast  to  be  prepared  here. 

Sir  G.  True,  I  wished,  before  my  departure 

Lady  D.  Departure  !  what,  are  we  to  lose  all  our  beaux  ?  they  tell 
me  Frederick  has  just  left  us. 

Mar.  Frederick  gone ! 

Sir  G.  'Tis  true,  he  parted  from  me  a  few  minutes  ago. 

Lady  D.  And  without  taking  leave [Looks  at  MAEIA. 

£ir  G.  When  a  young  man  is  going  to  be  married 

Mar.  Married ! 

Lady  D.  Married ! 

Sir  (L  Married  !  yes  my  pretty  sister,  though  you  dislike  him,  Fred- 
erick has  the  power  to  make  himself  agreeable  to  others. 

Lady  D.  Poor  Maria !  this  is  indeed  a  blow  to  her,  for  say  as  she 
will.  I  know  she  loves  him,  perfidious  wretch  f 

Sir  G.  Yesterday,  I  believe  Frederick  knew  not  of  his  uncle's  inten 


wo!  7 

tions,  but  this  morning  a  pressing  letter,  offering  a  splendid  alliance, 
so  enchanted  the  giddy  boy,  that  notwithstanding  all  my  exertions, 
he  was  off  like  a  rocket. 

Mar.  False — false  Frederick  !  [Aside. 

Lady  D.  Oh !  man  !  man  !  like  'em  all — [SiR  GEORGE  has  come 
closeto  LADY  D.  noticingher;  she  turns  short,  surprised.]  SirGcorge1 

Sir  Cf.  Eh!  Oh!  [Seeing  the  servants  placing  breakfast.]  Let's  tci 
breakfast. 

[During  the  above,  four  servants  have  brought  on  breaJcfast  and  ar- 
ranged it  in,  the  centre. 

Lady  D.  Willing,  my  dear  Sir  George,  I  can  read  in  that  wise  coun- 
tenance of  yours,  a  little  project,  which  you  are  busily  forming ; 
some 

Sir  G.  Can  you  have  perceived  it  1 

Lady  D.  To  be  sure  I  have :  you  men  are  such  clever  creatures. 
But  conic,  are  you  not  thinking  of  some  little  surprise  for  me  1 

Sir  G.  Why  I  must  confess — but  it's  only  a  whim— a 

Lady  D.  Do,  sir :  my  dear  Sir  George,  pray  indulge  me,  I  am  so 
fond  of  whims. 

Sir  G.  Well,  then,  do  you  know  that  I  cannot  persuade  myself,  that 
you  would  be  able,  during  my  absence,  that  is  from  now  till  four 
o'clock,  servants  and  all,  to  answer  only  one  word,  to  all  who  may 
present  themselves  at  the  gate. 

Lady  D.  A:  id  is  this  a  very  terrible  word  1 

Sir  G.  One  that  ie.v  women  have  said  seriously,  twice  running,  in 
their  live-. 

Lady  I).   Indeed  ;  let's  hear  it. 

Sir  G.  Now  tell  me,  can  you,  during  my  absence,  answer  all  visi- 
tors with  a  dry  conscientious,  No! 

Omnes.  No  ! 

Sir  G.  N<» ! 

lAidy  D.  How  ridiculous  :  [Aside.]  ah,  my  poor  dear  jealous  hus- 
band, you  shall  pay  for  this.  And  pray,  if  we  all  consent  to  limit  our 
sweet  tongues,  what  is  to  be  our  reward  ? 

Sir  G.  Choose. 

Lady  D.  Grant  me  the  first  request  I  make  after  the  clock  strikes 
four,  and  give  fifty  pounds  among  the  servants. 

Sir  G.  Agreed;  but  if  you  lose? 

Lady  D.  I  pay  the  fifty  pounds,  and  grant  any  request  that  you 
may  make. 

Sir  G.  Agreed  ;  and  to  my  carriage,  and  remember — 

Omnes.  No! 

[Exit  SIR  G.,  c.  Gate  •  servants  clear  table  and  go  off  n.  E.  L.  H. 

Lady  D.  Poor  girl ;  there  she  stands,  the  very  picture  of  melan- 
choly :  but  away  with  reserve,  and  let  me  effect  a  cure  ;  let  me  force 
her  to  avow  the  love  I  have  so  long  suspected ;  Maria !  Maria !  my  dear, 

Mar.  Ah,  sister,  Sir  George  is  gone,  then  1 

Lady  D.  Yes  but  I  shall  see  him  soon  again. 

Mar.  True  you  will  soon  see  him  again.  [Sighs.] 


Lady  D.  Mercy  on  us,  what  a  sigh — does  my  happiness  then  dis 
trc-ss  v<iii  : 

Mar.  [Agitated.}  You  cannot  think  so. 

ljulij  J>.  Why,  I  scarcely  know  what  to  think  of  a  sister  who  re- 
fiis .•-  mi-  her  confidence,  and  sooner  than  trust  me  with  the  secret  of 
her  heart,  pines  in  private. 

Mur.  What  im-an  you  1 

/..'••'//  l>.  Tnat  there  exists  a  charming  tho'  faithless  mortal  in  tlie 
wo.  lil.  who  after  having  excited  a  lively  and  tender  interest,  has,  per- 
haps  

Mar.  Your  ladyship  is  in  error :  I  will  not  pretend  to  misunder- 
stand, but  so  far  from  any  tender  interest,  I  detest  the  very  name  of 
the  man  you  allude  to. 

Lady  I).  Detest !  poor  creature  !  past  cure,  I  suspect ;  detest ! 

Mar.  Yes,  detest !  hate !  abominate  him  ! 

Lady  D.  Bless  me,  how  very  indifferent  he  must  be  to  you ;  and 
yet.  your  emotion  on  hearing  of  his  marriage 

Mar.  Oh,  dear  sister,  no  emotion  at  all — not  the  least ;  a  slight 
momentary  indisposition,  but  no  emotion. 

Enter  DEBORAH  and  ANDREW,  L.  n.,  quarrelling. 

Lady  D.  Bless  me,  good  people,  what  is  the  cause  of  this  quarrel- 
Hug'?  [Crosses  to  them. 

And.  Why,  my  lady,  my  wife  has  taken  one  of  her  fits  of  contradic- 
tion, and  won't  conform  to  Sir  George's,  wishes. 

Deb.  No,  I  won't ;  if  you  ask  me  a  thousand  times,  I  say — No  ! 

And.  There  now,  that's  all  we  want. 

Deb.  What's  all  you  want  1 

And.  No — no — no  !  a  thousand  times,  no ! 

Deb.  Indeed,  my  lady,  I  can't  do  it;  I  never  said  no  in  all  my  life 
and  I'm  not  going  to  begin  at  my  years. 

Lady  D.  Indeed,  then  the  fifty  pounds  Sir  George  was  to  give  to 
the  servants,  in  case  of  their  obedience,  will  be  lost. 

Deb.  Fifty  pounds  !  why.  man,  you  never  told  me  that. 

And.  You  never  gave  me  time. 

Lady  D.  May  we  now  depend  upon  you  1 

Deb.  Oh,  I'll  be  choked  before  I  say  yes.   [DEB.  and  AND.  go  up. 

Lady  D.  That's  right,  anything  rather  than  yes.  And  now,  my 
dear  sister,  if  you  have  subdued  the  momentary  indisposition,  let  us 
to  the  Hall,  prepare  for  the  adventures  of  the  day,  and  fashion  our 
lips  to  the  pronunciation  of  this  awful  monosyllable — No  ! 

[Exit,  with  MARIA,  L.  H. 

Deb.  Well,  I've  made  the  promise,  and  odd's  my  life,  I  hope  I  shall 
keio  it. 

And  Oh,  never  fear:  come,  I'll  try  you:  suppose  a  handsome 
voua<£  man  was  to  approach  you,  and  say,  Mrs.  Deborah,  you  are 
charmhig  to-day,  allow  me  to  print  a  gentle  kiss  on  those  fair  lips  : 
what  would  you  answer  1 

Deb.  Yes,  of  course. 

And.  Yes,  Mrs. 


NO!  9 

Deb.  No — no — no  !  I  meant  to  say  no,  but  the  force  of  habit,  you 
know 

And.  Force  of  habit,  indeed  ! 

Deb,  Yes.  Suppose  Peter  come  to  you,  and  said,  Andrew,  your 
wife's  gone  out,  will  you  come  to  the  Cat  and  Bagpipes  and  take  a 
drop  :  what  would  you  answer  1 

And.   Yes,  certainly. 

Deb.  Yes.  Mr " 

And.  Oh,  no — no — no  !  I  meant  to  say  no,  but  the  force  of  habit, 
you  know.  [COMMODORE  speaks  without. 

Deb.  Dear  me,  what's  that  1 

And.  As  I  am  an  honest  man,  it's  my  master's  old  friend,  Commo- 
dore Hurricane  !  here'll  be  a  storm. 

Enter  COMMODORE,  c.  gate. 

Com.  Well,  here  I  am  safe  in  port,  at  last.  Ah  !  Mrs.  Deborah,  good 
morning  to  you:  [down  c.]  and  you  my  good  old  friend  have  you  en- 
joye.l  your  health  since  I  left 7 
'And.  No! 

Com.  The  devil ;  so  much  the  worse,  my  old  boy.  But  you  Deb- 
orah, look  as  well  as  ever,  and  still  have  the  same  liking  for  your  old 
friend  the  Commodore  1 

Deb.  No  ! 

Com.  Well,  that's  fair  and  above  board,  at  any  rate  ;  but  hark  ye, 
can  I  have  some  breakfast  "2 

And.  No ! 

Com.  No  !  why,  you  old  lubber,  do  you  know  who  I  am  7 

And.  No ! 

Com.  Tell  me,  is  that  old  fool  mad  1 

Deb.  No! 

Com.  Oh,  that  I  had  you  on  board  the  Thunderbolt.  Is  Sir  George 
at  home  1 

A  nd.  No ! 

Cam.  My  nephew  7 

Deb.  No"! 

Com  The  ladies  7 

And.  No! 

Com.  What,  all  out  7 

Both.  No! 

Com.  By  the  lord  Harry,  they're  mad — mad  from  the  topsail  yard 
to  the  mizen  top  half  yards.  I'll  give  'em  one  chance  more.  I  sup- 
pose you  don't  forget  that  I  always  give  you  a  couple  of  guineas  when 
I  come  1  [Pulls  out  a  purse. 

Both.  [Delighted.]  No! 

Com.  Will  you  take  them  now  7  f Feels  purse. 

Both.  [Dejected.]  No! 

Com.  You  couple  of  provoking,  tantalizing  old  devils :  clear  the 
decks,  or  I'll  be  athwart  your  hawsers  in  the  twist  of  a  handspike : 
\ltaises  his  cane;  they  run  off  2  B.  is.  H.]  I'll  get  some  other  answer 
than— no  !  I'm  determined,  or  I'll  blow  Sir  George  and  his  house  to 


10  NO! 

the  devil,  [fine?  to  gate  and  rings  violently.  Three  SERVANTS  en- 
/>,-.  '1  !•:.  i,.  ii. ,J  (Hi,  here  comes  a  change  of  wind  at  last:  come 
here  Thomas — you're  au  honest  fellow. 

No! 
( 'i,,n.  [l\,iocict  him  down.}  Do  you  like  that,  you  rascal  1 

Tk' mi.  NO! 

Com.  Now,  gentlemen,  after  that  example,  will  either  of  you  darr 
to  say  no  1 

All  the  Sen:  No  ! 

Cbm.  You  infernal  pack  of  scoundrels,  take  that  and  that  [Beats 
the  servants  around  the  stage  ;  they  exit  R.H.  SIR  G.  enters  C.  Gate 
and  nearly  receives  a  blow.]  So,  Sir  George,  at  last  I  have  found  you. 

Sir  G.  My  dear  Commodore,  I  am  delighted  to  see  you. 

Com.  Thank  heaven  he  has'iit  said  no.  Pray  proceed,  Sir  George, 
you  speak  Intelligibly'. 

Sir  G.  Intelligibly  !  what  do  you  mean,  Commodore  7 

Com.  Indeed,  Sir  George,  I  scarcely  know  what  I  mean  :  I  receive  a 

11  tier  from    you,  stating  your  suspicions  that  my  scrapegrace  of  a 
nnphew  has  fallen  in  love  with  your  lady  ;  I  desire   his  Immediate  at- 
tendance ;  he  neglects  my  orders.    I  come  here  to  seek  him,  and  all 
your  servants  treat  me  with  the  most  infernal  impertinence. 

Sir  G.  Can  it  be  possible  1 

Com.  I  ask  them  if  they  are  in  health — No  ! 

Sir  G.  That's  charming. 

Com.  I  offer  money  to  drink  my  health — No ! 

Sir  G.  Delightful ! 

Com.  Is  your  master  at  home  ? — No  ! 

Sir  G.   Excellent. 

Com.  Why,  damme,  you're  as  mad  as  any  of  'em :  I  at  last  beggod 
to  know  if  I  was  welcome  and  the  answer  was — 

Sir  G.  No  ! 

Com.  I'll  be  damn'd  if  it  was'nt. 

S'<Y  G.  Upon  my  soul  it's  admirable 

C(/in.  And  upon  my  soul  it's  damnable ;  and  you  approve  your  ser- 
\  suits  in  such  conduct  to  an  old  friend  1  I  wish  you  farewell. 

Sir  G.  Yet  stay,  my  dear  Commodore. 

Com.  No! 

Sir  G.  Let  me  explain. 

Com.  No  ! 

Sir  G.  One  word  ! 

C<-.-m.  No — no — no — no  ! 

Enter  Jons  ;  L.  H.,  crosses  to  R.  H. 
Here  John,  you  rascal,  order  my  horses. 

John.  No'! 
[Jonx  runs  off  R.  H.,  COMMODORE  after  him  with  his  stick  raised;  SIR 

Q.  follows  laughing. 
Enter  FRED,  and  SMART,  cautiously,  c. 

Fred.  My  uncle  here  :  now  in  the  name  of  all  that's  unlucky,  can  I 
have  mi  <  <j  him  1  But  there  is  no  time  for  conjecture.-  you  faithfully 


NO'.  11 

discharged  the  morn.ng's  commission  1 

SMART.  I  did,  [lifts  up  vase,]  and  see,  the  letter's  gone. 

Fred.  Then  Maria  has  received  it :  [MARIA  sings  without,  L.  H. 
ha  !  'tis  her  voice ;  leave  me,  and  as  my  uncle  says,  keep  a  shays 
look  out. 

Smart.  Dear  sir,  I  must  keep  a  shays  lookout  for  the  lardei  ;  con- 
sider, I  have  ate  nothing  since  the  morning. 

Fred.  Glutton ;  this  is  no  time  to  think  of  eating :  you  must  watch 
my  uncle  :  eat  to-night,  to-morrow,  or  the  next  day. 

Smart.  Yes,  or  the  next  day  fortnight,  or  treat  my  stomach  as  they 
do  bills  in  the  house  of  commons,  take  it  into  consideration  this  day 
six  months.  [Exit,  R.  H. 

Fred.  She  comes ;  I  hope  my  rascal  is  on  the  look  out.    [Retires. 

Enter  MARIA,  L.  H. — SONG. — [Introduced.] 

Mar.  I  know  not  what  infatuation  leads  me  to  this  spot,  where  I 
shall  no  more  see  him,  where  I  ought  not  to  wish  to  see  him. 
Fred.  [Advancing.]  Maria ! 

Mar.  Heavens  !  'tis  he  himself.  [Aside. 

Fred.  Maria,  why  turn  you  from  me  7  have  I  offended  you  7 
Mar.  What  will  become  of  me  1  [Aside. 

Fred.  What,  not  a  word  1 

DUETT.— Air— Isabel 

Fred.  Will  you  not  bless  with  one  sentence  a  lover. 
Whose  bosom  beats  only  for — [Mar.]  No  ! 
The  cause  of  your  anger  I  prytliee  discover  1 
Pray  tell  me  your  reason  for — [Mar.]  No  ! 
Say,  dearest,  you  still  love  me — [Mar.]  No! 
Oh,  can  you  then  doom  me  to  sorrow  7 
Yet  once  again  bless  me  with — [ Mar.]  No  ! 
Oh,  promise  to  meet  me  to  morrow  ; 

Prythee  promise — [Mar.]  No!  [Fred.]  don't  say — [Mar.]  No! 
Must  we,  dearest  Maria,  then,  sever  7 
And  can  you  then  part  with  me  7  [Mar.]  No  ! 
Then  swear  by  yon  sun  to  be  only  mine  ever  ; 
You  cannot  refuse  me,  love — Mar.  No  ! 
Then  you  hate  not  your  fond  lover  1 — Mar.  No  ! 
Your  hand  to  my  faithful  heart  pressing  ; 
Say  does  it  offend  you  7  [MAR.  gives  her  hand,]  No ! 
Then  to  marry  would  not  be  distressing  ; 
Answer;  [Mar.]  No!  once  more,  [Mar.]  No! 
Both.  No — no — no  !          [FREDERICK  kneels  and  kisses  her  hand. 

Enter  LADY  D.,  2  E.  L.  H.  and  comes  down  between  them. 
Mar.  My  sister,  I'm  lost. 

Fred.  Lady  Doubtful,  nay,  then,  further  concealment  is  useless — 
know  dearest  madam,  I  love  your  sisjer,  love  her  to  distraction,  and 
were  twenty  thousand  uncles  to  oppose  my  union,  never  would  I  wed 
another. 

Lady  D.  No! 


12  no! 

Enter  SIR  GEOROE  and  COMMODORE,  u.  E.  R.,  SERVANTS,  R.  and  L. 
Fred.  You  will  not,  surely,  refuse  to  aid  my  suit  1 
Lndii  I>.  No! 

Fred.  [Kneels  to  LADY  D.]  Thus,  then,  a  grateful  lover  pours  our 
his  thanks.  [Sm  OKORGE  and  COMMODORE  rush  forward. 

Com.  Oh,  you  infernal  rascal,  are  you  not  avillian? 
Sir  G.  Are  you  not  an  abandoned  woman  7 
Lady  D.  No! 

Sir  G.  Maria,  did  you  not  see  him  declare  his  love  for  my  wife  7 
Mar.  No! 

Sir  G.  Confusion,  did  you  not  all  see  him  at  the  feet  of  her  ladyship  1 
Omnes.  No! 

Com.  By  the  lord,  you're  in  a  glorious  minority  of  one,  the  noes 
have  it  hollow.  [The  clock  strikes  four ;  servants  shout  thrice 

Lady  D.  Fifty  pounds,  my  dear  darling  jealous  husband,  and  next 
your  consent  to  the  union  of  Frederick  and  Maria. 
Sir  G.  Frederick  and  Maria  1 
Lady  D.  Yes,  remember  the  bargain. 
Sir  G.  But  she  detests  him. 

Lady  D.  Oh,  that  was  only  a  temporary  indisposition  :  you  would 
not  refuse  him  would  you,  Maria  1 
Mar  No  ! 

Com.  Lord  help  me — no,  again. 
Sir  G.  And  your  letter  this  morning  was  for 
Fred.  Maria ! 

Sir  G.  I  see,  and  blush  for  my  folly. 

Com.  Frederick,  my  boy,  your  hand :  I  consent  to  your  marriage, 
and,  [to  SIR  G.]  in  atonement  for  your  unjust  suspicions,  down   on 
your  marrow  bones,  ask  pardon  of  her  ladyship,  and  pray   madam, 
don't  say — no. 
Lady  D.  No ! ! 

FINALE. 
Clwrus.  Hear,  hear,  hear, 

The  house  mast  now  divide, 
Question,  question,  question, 

The  question  to  decide. 
Fred.  The  rule  of  voting  well  you  know 

If  not  I'll  here  explain, 
The  noes  unto  the  lobby  go, 

And  all  the  ayes  remain. 
Mar.  On  me  I'm  sure  you'll  not  refuse 

Your  voices  to  bestow, 
For  when  a  female  member  sues, 

This  house  will  not  say  no. 
Choiiis.  No,  no,  no, 

Nem.  con. — 'tis^ carried  quite, 
No,  no,  no, 

They'll  not  say  no  to-night. 

THE  END. 


